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clear case – friday fictioneers

November 14, 2012

This story is prompted for Friday Fictioneers – kindly hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Come try your hand at a 100 word story where each word counts. Here is today’s photo prompt

Silent, everyone concentrating, weapons drawn loaded, deadly.
Three, softly, two just a whisper….

The door exploded inward, black clad men followed an irresistible tide.

“Freeze”, under arrest”, reverberated through the house as furniture crashed down.

They found them in the kitchen. Mom, huddled in the corner weeping softly. Eddie in his booster seat mouth agape as partially chewed cereal dripped down. Only Susie was unperturbed, entirely focused in her high chair, removing a dry cheerio from a nostril.

Dad, boot on his neck, rasped “What charge?”

The chief glanced to his right. “Book him Dano, clear case of battery.”

  1. Well, what can I add that hasn’t already been said except … **groan** – great pun by the way 😉

  2. Russell permalink

    One of the best things about being late is reading all the comments. You really garnered a basket full of groans and eye rolls this week. Well done, Bill. I congratulate you, sir.

  3. Very clever. Loved it.

  4. Ba-da-bing! And why not?

  5. I’ll give you a boo, a hiss and a groan! Nice job!

  6. Dear Bill,

    I like how you got us to where you you were going. Well done and worthy of all of the comments that have gone before, especially the groans.



  7. Groan… loved it!

  8. multiple counts. badum bumm.

    • thanks Rich — I admit my weakness is for puns, although I have many others as well. I had originally started this as illegal search and seizure but “assault and battery kept popping up.

  9. That is a truly AWFUL pun. I congratulate you! 🙂

  10. I sweated, I laughed, I groan. What a wild ride. Well done.

  11. Couldn’t figure out where you were going with this until the very end. Adorable.

  12. JackieP permalink

    good one, made me laugh at the end.

  13. Really good setup, right down to red herring Susie, and then of course, the pun-ch line. Very successful.

  14. Hi Bill,
    You built this to a perfect pitch before springing that brilliant ending on us! Ron

  15. Oh! The perfect pun. Brilliant work. 🙂

  16. What a chuckle, having grown up with a punning family it feels strangely familiar!

  17. Hehe, I’d never thought of that use of the word at all! Well done 😉

  18. Oooooh, groaner! Thanks for the laugh!

    • thank you for stopping by… and double thanks for groaning. We punsters live for that.

  19. TheOthers1 permalink

    LOL. Ba dum ching.

  20. Great job! Nice laugh.

  21. Ha, watch out for the battery.

  22. Some of the stories have been so full of sorrow. Thank you kindly for ending yours with a laugh. Well done.

    • Thanks — I agree laughter is much needed in the world.
      I am always glad when you stop by and comment.

  23. And the hits keep coming! Grooooooooaaaaaannnnnn! Funny Bill. To the back of the bus with ye.

  24. Oh boo, hiss! 😀 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great!

  25. Great take on the prompt, would never have thought along these lines. Nice one.

  26. Groan… Good one!

  27. Brilliant!!! I would never have thought of this…just brilliant!

  28. Everyready, I presume?

    Good one!!!!!!


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