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wandering – dverse

October 16, 2014

When a man has stayed
Where his heart has strayed
Walking away is hard to do.
Whatever choice has he
Waxing eloquently
Words spoken to make amends –
Won’t mean a damn thing.

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From → dverse, humor, poetry

44 Comments
  1. Your words have triggered active responses from your readers, Bill–a fine tribute to a successf poem.

  2. Glenn Buttkus permalink

    You & I do love to bend/break the rules; really liked your piece, Bill; it conveyed a message, not just stitched together with 7 lines starting with the same letter; cool take.

  3. Yes, indeed, plain actions say more than eloquent words ever could…..you have touched to the heart of that truth in this poignantly titled piece. Beautifully crafted.

  4. Caught at the cross-roads man has not many choice really! Great lines billgncs!

    Hank

  5. This is a “bad boy” poem!

  6. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) permalink

    Yes, the abrupt end is very effective β€” the sad truth of it hits home.

  7. There is some difficult wisdom in the content of this poem. I like how the structure of it flows.

  8. Excellent. And so true!

  9. I enjoy the perspective you bring with this one and the use of waxing…nicely delivered.

  10. unfortunately… there is some truth to this

  11. My thoughts on the poem: I like that you wrote in iambic (iambic trimeter for 6 syllables). Although all of your lines did not conform to the six syllables (3 & 6 are 8) it makes the poem flow all the smoother. The abrupt halt of the last line brings it all home.
    And on the subject of the poem: In my humble opinion if someone is going to stray, if they feel the love is gone and the need to move on, then leave the spouse first instead of blindsiding with unfaithfulness and then expecting them to ignore the pain and forgive. Just sayin’!

    • I agree with you, and it’s interesting that of all the poems I’ve written, this one seems to get the most in-depth comments. In life, it’s easy to speak and more difficult to put our words into action. Thanks for your thoughtful comment – bw

  12. We should be careful about the words we choose!! Thanks for your participation.

    • there is no honor in words, when actions don’t back them up. That was a good prompt, what brought you to this form ?

  13. sad…words are sometime powerless too…nice lines..

  14. This is like a song. W words work so well I think, and it gives a wisdom to your lines.. Stay and stray is a great pair to spin it around,

  15. I like the way you write life as it is, Bill! And I understand well what you are saying here.

  16. There’s a reason the phrase “heart of the matter” exists. Once the heart is gone, little else matters. Where words become meaningless. I took me a couple of lines to realize you followed the original format, not the six syllable restriction. I like it.

    • yeah, I always break the rules. I’m glad you liked it. I was going to rhyme the last line when I thought that the abruptness might accent the disharmony between action and words.

      Sonnets are really hard because they have lots of rules πŸ™‚

  17. For some reason – Walking away is hard to do. – reminds me of the song “Breaking up is heard to do”

    • I suppose so, unless one is sufficiently ticked – thanks for stopping by. I did have song cadence going on in my head as I wrote it. I just had to find alot of w words πŸ™‚

  18. The words don’t mean anything..the curtain of the temple is torn and it is never the same again. Love this poem and it is all the more effective because of the brief form. Well done.

    • no matter how eloquent one is, actions always speak
      thanks – always glad when you stop by.

  19. no it wont mean anything if his heart is not in it…and once you have given up, you lose say in it anyway…and staying is not good if the heart is not there…

  20. Whatever the rules, this is so well put, touches places in the heart

  21. Where his heart has strayed, is where he wants to be ~ No words are enough to make amends, sadly ~

  22. I like the way you brought us down to earth, so to speak with a real life offering. I also like the freedom you took with the syllables lines not being restricted (to that 6 added later by Anderson…I might do the same. Not sure.

    • I used to write haiku’s in the strict format, but then I thought is the haiku for man, or the man for haiku.

      Still sometimes it’s fun to keep the declared form.

      I think it all changed when I learned that iambic pentameter was a Spenserian age invention to make English like classic Greek and Latin.

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