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self portrait – dverse

June 12, 2014

I am the blind tyrant
the rusted scale of justice
impartial, imperial, immaterial
the sponge hammer who strikes fear and tickles
into those who cower under me.

Behold my wrath, stand still and tremble
for the wooden spoon of integrity
leaves the splinters of regret.

I am the standoffish hug giver
The rescue dog welcomer
a reluctant pooper-scooper
the wildman of the city
Blazing Medusa’s smile to all

despair of my two wheels
tramplers of destiny
the eternal grounders
halted only by my daughters
smiling and “But Daaaadddd”
I am the toasted marshmallow.


From → dverse, humor, poetry

  1. Delicious read.

  2. hypercryptical permalink

    Wonderful, in fact brilliant.
    Anna :o]

  3. WONDERFUL–heartwarming, and “dashing” even.

  4. ….and a very gorgeous toasted marshmallow, I might add!

  5. I meant to say I love this line: I am the standoffish hug giver…and love the glimpse into life with your daughters ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Great implications here which totally make sense once read…use of images helps this become a strong and meaningful lighthearted poem.

    • I see you guys write these brilliant serious poems – and I’m a bit envious. When my voice speaks and gets a smile – then I’ve written true.

  7. Glenn Buttkus permalink

    My wife is the hammer in our household; used to paddle the daughters with a tennis shoe. Just once I tried to be the punisher; but didn’t want to use full strength, so smacked both of them “hard”; one looked at the other & said, “He hits like a girl.” That was the end of my role for posterity.

    • Yep, after getting the crap kicked out of me as a kid a couple times, I was never into it either.

      I later learned from two laughing girls that the “look of disapointment” was enough !

  8. Sponge hammer.. I love that.. and what would we do without the wooden spoon of integrity.. somehow I got to think about Phil – prince of insufficient light (from Dilbert)…

  9. Sweet portrait, a toasted marshmallow made me smile ~ A good one ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Very nice for a toasted marshmallow…!

  11. lol – sponge hammer who strikes fear and tickles… this is a very sweet poem… also the toasted marshmallow gave me the giggles

  12. smiles… toasted marshmallow doesn’t sound bad you know… i think sometimes we are full of contradictions – and maybe that’s not bad at all

  13. ha. the ever fearsome tickler…lol..
    thinking the first bit is a little tongue in cheek…smiles.
    the last line, i laughed out loud. ha

    • I am usually happy with a smile, so a laugh is great.

      The non-sequitur in the poem is how we perceive ourselves, and how we really are.

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