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take it – friday fictioneers

July 10, 2013

This story is prompted for Friday Fictioneers – kindly hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Come try your hand at a 100 word story. Here is today’s photo prompt

You’ve got to be kidding me. This it it?

Shaddup — what’d you expect. We come back tonight with shovels and a pry bar.

What about the critters, the people?

Nothing to worry about, they’ll think we’re spirits or spooks. We’ll be in and out before anyone’s the wiser.

I don’t know….

Listen, how long we been following this treasure map?

Two years…

You gonna quit now, When we are so close we can taste it?

But…

Trust me. We ain’t got nothing now, but this map proves it.

Yeah, he can’t keep it, but he sure took it with him.

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20 Comments
  1. Really enjoyed the conversation between these two. Can just see them creeping back later all prepared.

  2. Love this dialogue, and the twist.. you sure can’t take it with you.

  3. I enjoyed the dialogue. Mine is written in the same style. I hope they find the treasure,

    • Thanks – I gave that some thought, and realized that if these two didn’t find the treasure, they would end up harmless old men, friends forever. But, if they did find it, they would be full of envy for each other and lose their friendship.

      Isn’t it odd how these people in one’s head have their own lives ?

      thanks for stopping by.

  4. Dear Bill,

    Great turn of the phrase. Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  5. I always heard the expression “you never see a hearse with a trailer hooked to it.” Perhaps this time it was.

  6. Great little story–I can see those two bumbling around in a cemetery at night! Loved it.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/judas-goats/

  7. I reminded of the story where the man wanted to take his fortune with him. His wife wrote a check for his entire fortune and stuck it in the coffin. “Let’s she him cash that,” she said as they lowered the box into the grave.

  8. Dear Bill,

    So now that he’s taken it with him, what’s he going to do with it? Nice one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  9. what’s so good in there, mon, that you be willin’ to risk yer lives against devil goats and villagers?
    A have a map I can sell you, too, when yer find nuttin’ but bones in dese graves.

    • just like a lottery ticket, but if you sneak it out you don’t have any taxes !!!!

  10. “You know, this grass is so full of sugar and oil. At this rate, it’ll be the death of us.”

    “We need to find another pasture where they bury skinny people.”

    “Yeah, people on healthy diets.”

    “That’s right, not those who gorge on all that fried food and ice cream.”

    “Yeah, rich, thick and creamy –”

    “Mouth-watering, devilishly heavenly -”

    Long silence.

    More silence.

    “I think, I’ll stay here.”

    “Yeah, me too.”

    “We might not find another pasture so near town.”

    “Yeah, you’re right.”

  11. Digging for treasure, huh? And he thought he could take it to the grave with him!

    • Hi Eric — you can take it with you, if you plan ahead. But keeping it is harder 🙂

      • Hi Bill,
        Got to ask–who made the map? And how did these bozos get their hands on it? I have a feeling it would be worth staying up to see their faces when they open that
        coffin….Good story that begs for more.

        • thanks VB — I think they paid alot of money to get if via an email from Nigeria 🙂

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