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the narrow way – friday fictioneers

November 21, 2012

This story is prompted for Friday Fictioneers – kindly hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Come try your hand at a 100 word story where each word counts. Here is today’s photo prompt

Bells ringing, clear and pure both soothing and kind. Then sweet childish voices:

“Shhh Luc, they’ll hear us.”

“Aw Gabby,” giggling, “You’ll spoil the fun.”

“Me? Not me, shhhh here comes one now.”

The pilgrim approaches, leaning heavily upon his staff. The narrow path he follows has led him to a choice. One shaking hand covers his brow as he peers first left, then right. Glancing a last time to the signs, he tremulously walks the rightmost path.

Luc stumbles to his knees in mirth. Gabby chimes in, “What’s so funny, tell me please?”

Luc warbles, “I switched the hand.”

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41 Comments
  1. Dear Bill,

    Luc and Gabby were well rendered as was the pilgim. Somehow i like to think that he made it where he was going despite the switched hand. good story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. I read the comments, so I see who it is. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have figured that out! Luc and Gabby…their 21st century names? Luc is always getting everyone into trouble. Nice one!

    • yes, it was a stretch….. but it made me wonder was luc always bad, and Gabby always good? ( smile )

  3. That is so cute. I wonder what happens now that he’s switched the hand. Great job.

    • this kinda throws a wrench in predestination, that’s for sure.

      thanks so much for commenting

  4. It being that the face appears evil and warped, switching the hand is the thing to do. Those kids might just have saved the pilgrim’s life.

    Then again he might wind up eaten by Bigfoot. So nice suspense here, good story.

  5. Ah. Yes bad destiny for Pilgrim indeed 🙂

  6. This is a good one… I think I figured out who those kids are… aren’t they usually on his shoulders?

  7. Oh dear, is the path to eternal happiness really to the left–I would have assumed the reward for righteousness would be to the right. Unless, of course, our pilgrim was really destined for Luc’s playground and Luc was playing a joke on St. Peter. Fun story!

  8. Oh. Lucifer and Gabriel, those devilish little imps are at it again….

    Oh Go-odd! Oh, Go-odd! Where is God when you need Him?
    If if find Him, I’m sure He’ll show these jokesters a thing or three.
    You just can’t mess with a Pilgrim on Thanksgiving Day and get off so easily.

  9. Good job, Bill! Very creative.

  10. Sounds like a bit of innocent fun for Luc. I expect he’s going to go on to greater things 🙂 Nice story Bill.

    • thanks — I guess it is onward and upward for Luc, oops, that wrong facing hand got me ( smile )

  11. thanks! Changed.

  12. Gabby Hayes?
    Luc Skywalker?

  13. Hi Bill,
    Very wily of you to figure out how to get a Thanksgiving tale out of this photo! Ron

  14. Hmmmm, Lucifer and Gabriel perhaps? 🙂 Subtle.

  15. Fun take on the prompt, Pilgrim.

  16. Good one. I’m assuming it wasn’t the directions to the toilet…

  17. This is really subtle and clever! Very well-written.

  18. that will not work out well. good job.

    • thanks — if you ever have suggestions to improve my writing I’d love to hear them. I know I have learned from several comments you made elsewhere. Bill

      • always glad to help. not everyone is receptive to comments, so it’s good to know.

  19. ooh, a jokester.
    I like that.
    Hope he doesn’t get a pointing finger in return.

    Randy

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