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sweet tea – Friday Fictioneers

October 26, 2012

This story is prompted for Friday Fictioneers – kindly hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Come try your hand at a 100 word story where each word counts. Here is today’s photo prompt

“Sugar?” She knew I preferred unsweetened. Her eyes wouldn’t meet mine.

“We can move beyond this.” The spoon in her hand shook visibly, she fumbled with the cup. Silence, it was always silence.

I put my hand over hers, gently stilled the trembling. The tea kept her gaze. I took a deep breath, felt it fill me then silently, peacefully escape. I reached a finger beneath her chin, and gently lifted. No resistance, we assayed one another, her eyes moist with fear and anger.

“You can t….”

“No”, she rose and stormed away.

I slowly sipped my sweetened tea.

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46 Comments
  1. Didn’t expect that. Great story.

  2. The offer of sugar to a no-sugar man says it all–she’s moved on.

  3. It seems to me that he has committed a crime of the relationship kind. What is it about tea anyway and why do we give sweetened tea for shock? Anyway’s I really enjoyed this as it allows my imagination to run riot with wondering. 🙂

    • you know, that really sounds like fun. It is actually hard for me as I am very shy around people I am unfamiliar with. My wife is the ice breaker.

      • I can understand that, it’s often hard to put yourself into a potentially unknown environment and people that appear to be confident are often shy underneath 🙂

  4. Another bittersweet one. What is it about cafes? Wonder what was beyond…”You can’t…” And why were her eyes moist with fear and anger…” You left me with many questions. I want to know more. Nice work, Bill.

  5. TheOthers1 permalink

    I’m curious as to who did the emotional damage here. What was the narrator going to say? Curiouser and curiouser. Nice job.

    • thanks … I had to back the word back to t…. for tell or trust. Which would you have said, and who had been wronged?

      • TheOthers1 permalink

        For some reason I got the impression he was going to say tell, but maybe I didn’t want him to be in the wrong.

  6. Russell permalink

    a lot of this week’s stories (especially this one) remind me of the Eagles song “Sad Cafe” Why doesn’t someone make a ring out of bacon, get down on one knee and offer a proposal. Now, that would be sweet.

  7. This was true sadness….beyond hope … Well done

  8. Loved the story but I can’t resist telling you that’s what happens when you drink sweetened tea! 🙂 Glad we haven’t had any meetings like this.

    • me too, or else you would probably be like those others putting a period on their spouses existence!

  9. The path of true love is a steep and crooked one. Good job of capturing a relationship conflict, maybe the end. Ron

  10. Going through one heartache story after another makes me wonder how many broken hearts leave a cafe all over the world everyday?
    Nice work, very raw and sensitive.

  11. Very sensitively observed – emotionally raw. Really well done.

  12. Trudy permalink

    Great story, I like the passive aggressive dose of sugar, it goes well with the silence she’s giving him. Very moving.

  13. I like how you made it very visual…the trembling hands….the gentle chin lift…well done sir

  14. bittersweet tea.

    unsustainable tea (no, I can’t believe i wrote that.)

  15. “The tea kept her gaze.” That’s my favorite bit of this very moving little piece. I’m dying to know what “You can t .. .” was going to be! 🙂 Thanks for creating lots of questions.

    Here’s mine: http://wrasselings.blogspot.com/2012/10/friday-fictioneers-when.html

  16. Dear Bill,
    There’s a lump in my throat as I write. Well done.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  17. Dear Bill,

    No way we both used assayed in our stories. Are you funnin’ with me? A famous writer once told me, “You keep doing that and you’re going to need some assayed!”

    A lovely, sad and well written story.

    The cafe window scene is prompting a lot of heartbreaking tales, don’t you think?

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Doug,
      I agree with you on all three points. Well, except I don’t know about the famous writer.
      Well written.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Especially for Billgncs; ASSAYED is The Weekly Word: What’s YOUR Alternative Meaning? | woman on the edge of reality

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