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Zeds 8 — Friday Fictioneers

August 22, 2012

Madison Woods offers up her Friday fictioneers prompt. Join in the fun and take a chance.

it looked so peaceful….


“Stay put, doors locked”, Reaper warned them, and disappeared into the mist.

Brother waited five minutes then grabbed a shotgun and chambered a round, “let’s take a looksee” and was outside before she could protest. The mist felt cool. No birds called, but it was good to stretch her legs.

The shotgun blast blew the first in half, but the recoil knocked Brother off balance and three zombies pulled him down. She whirled but others seized her, forced something, “Dear God No”, a pod, vile, bitter, slimy into her mouth, down her throat as they consumed Brother alive.

Arms, legs, parts were strewn everywhere. A nightmare, no it was Reaper covered in blood holding her nose, forcing her to swallow a foul liquid. She wanted to protest, ask if he was OK when the vomiting started. He held her as she heaved again and again, and again…

Afterward, Reaper drove to a safe spot by a river. He gently removed the tainted clothes, and led her into the river. He washed the vomit, the blood, the ichor from them both. On the shore in the sun, he held her as she wept trembling for innocence lost.

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40 Comments
  1. Gory, gruesome, great! And, I love the names…Reaper, Brother…and, the way you cropped the photo is fantastic!

    ~Susan

    • thanks!! That’s my kind of alliteration!

      glad you liked it — it has been really fun to write

      thanks for stopping by

  2. I must admit I am not into zombies, vampires, dark, creepy thingy, spooky stories, witchcraft, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, etc. During my youth, I never watched the scary Werewolf movies. Fortunately, this is only 100-words, so I read it. Is that the Grim Reaper saving them? Now that’s a switch. Bill, you have quite a vivid imagination. Thanks for visiting mine.

  3. Eww! I think your stories should come with a health warning! As over commentators have said – you hit gruesome right on the nail with this one!

    • thanks — my inner child delights in grossing everyone out….

      must be a character flaw ( smile )

  4. No like zombies! Glad she escaped, mostly. You got a lot of story out of just a few words.

    • thanks — this is my inner grossout little boy escaping.

      by the way — your son is a fine young man. He stayed with my wife Janet as an intern.

      thanks for reading…

  5. Nice part 2 and loved the eeriness of it all, well done.
    My offering this week can be found at yaralwrites.com

  6. mysocalledDutchlife permalink

    A packed piece (that doesn’t sound right somehow), so full of action. Loved it. I’ve already read the next installment 🙂

    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/the-haar-ff-240812/

  7. Yikes… Woah… No words really…
    Reaper saves her life?
    Woah… poor brother. Lesson here: always listen to people with a name like Reaper!

    • thanks for commenting… it has been my experience with rugby teams and martial arts that even nice guys who are really tough get grim nicknames… we had a “Doom” among others…. Hence Reaper… but is any man ever wholly good?

  8. You pretty much covered the gamut of literary horror-scene components: body parts; regurgitation; blood; ichor (a new word for me); innocence lost–and all in 100 words. A real accomplishment!

  9. eeewwww, creepy and made my stomach turn. I think that is what zombie stories are supposed to do, so good job!

  10. You’ve got me itching for a good zombie short story…hmmmm….thanks!

  11. Dear Billgncs,

    You get my nod for this story with special emphasis on one word (Ichor. Very cool.) and one note for your consideration. Re 12 rounds chambered in the shotgun—unless it is a 12 barreled shotgun you can’t chamber 12 rounds. Eleven in the magazine (through the magazine loading port) I’ll buy, and one in the chamber. Follow me? It seems a minor point, but this is a genre whose aficionados will tear you apart faster than your Zeds for missing details like this. I hope I’ve helped and not irritated you. Only trying to help.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • thanks Doug, I am glad that ichor resonated with you.

      Good point on the shotgun, I was thinking of a street sweeper with the rotary magazine and trying to pick an action verb. I agree accurate descriptions are essential.

  12. Creepy yet brilliant story! I enjoyed reading it.

  13. Sometimes, you really do have to pay attention to what people tell you to do otherwise you suffer the consequences …. Really well done, I think I ‘enjoyed’ it, if that’s the right word 🙂

    Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-misty/

    • true — I always stressed that to my daughters, although they didn’t always listen they were luckily never eaten by zombies.

      thanks for stopping by

  14. Horrific bit about the pod! I got a bit mixed up with who was who in the first couple of paragraphs, which I guess is what happens with these continuation pieces. Nicely done.

  15. TheOthers1 permalink

    Just awful. Not the story; your story is actually very interesting! I feel so bad for her and wonder how this will change her.

  16. So much horror packed into such a short story! I really like the efficient way you present the situation and characters, and the vivid details you use to help us identify with the girl. Using nearly all of our senses (slime! bitterness!) puts us right there inside the story, as opposed to just telling us what to see and hear as if we were watching a TV show.

  17. Oh my…what was he making her swallow…and then vomit up? A great juxtaposition between the subject matter and the peaceful nature of the image.

  18. Great job on this

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